Well, according to this list of the seven deadly sins, sin #2 is the one that keeps me from reaching paradise. It reads:
2. Not Understanding How To Tactfully Move Things ForwardIn my younger years I never had to do anything. ANYTHING. They (countless gorgeous twenty-somethings) would initiate the conversation, chat me up and move things forward until I had rounded the bases and tipped my cap for the fans.
Now I’m going to blow you away with a little insider dating secret… A woman is expecting you to move an interaction forward… and actually will get turned off if you fail to do so. Let me say this again: If you don’t move an interaction toward intimacy and get physical with her, women will actually LOSE their attraction to you.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you’re talking to a girl for more than a couple minutes, she’s probably already thinking, “Okay, when is going to ask for my number?” or even, “Okay, so when is he going to kiss me?” And if you don’t do it—or fail to do it smoothly—then she’ll actually “cool off” and start thinking of ways to dismiss you: “I think we’re better off just being friends…”
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating… Confidently approaching a woman, going for the number, asking her out, kissing her, getting sexual… everything. If you hesitate or don’t know what to do in each situation, you will end up losing EVERYTHING. And you know it.
It is crucial that you understand how to tactfully move from one step to the next with a woman… from the approach, all the way to the bedroom.
Well, one day it all just stopped. I remember what day it was and what activity it was that started my unfortunate reversal of fortune. In my mid-20's I started selling stuff on Ebay to help pay for my rent while I was finishing up with college. It turned into a career in web development, trading premium aftermarket domain names, social media marketing, SEO and so forth. In other words, for all intents and purposes I became a geek.
I'm still the same guy all the ladies were fawning over in high school and college. I'm still just as fit as I was when I was the star player on my college rugby team (and multiple sports teams in high school). It matters not. I have an uphill battle to fight.
Yes, the same guy who exerted zero effort in landing a babe that years later moved to Los Angeles to become an actress and model and at one point dated Shia Labeouf has to work for every base hit these days.
My personality hasn't really changed either. They (mid-20's single women - my target demographic... I'm almost 30 fwiw) seem to be programmed to be averse to guys who spend a lot of time around computers. Even successful guys whose careers involve lots of computer and in particular internet work.
For all you younger fellows that have yet to make up your mind about what you'd like to do for a living, if you decide upon internet work, make sure you sew your wild oats before embarking on your career, and if you have any desire to be married, you may want to find the lucky lady first as well. The alternative is to lie about what you do.
In any case, it's certainly something to consider as one of the major drawbacks of an otherwise exciting, mentally stimulating and very enjoyable line of work.
Author's Note: The other drawbacks include having to work insane hours, having to constantly learn new technologies - even after you've reached an age where you don't want to learn anymore, and bidding a permanent farewell to the feeling of being well-rested.
Rock,
ReplyDeleteBeing a rebel through those years I wouldn't know what is like to have women come on to me. Even when they did I was oblivious to it. Which you are right, that only causes a cooling off. Whenever they found out I wrote "poetry" (it was rock songs to me) they would get a little week kneed, however. I never really did understand that. To me a writer was a wimp. To me the nerd of those days. Maybe if you told them you were a hacker, ran on line gambling or porn, or a founding member of Anonymous-(the black leather jacket of the internet)-you could get good street cred. Tell them you helped invent Texting, something they're obviously crazy about. But if your honest and follow your heart it doesn't matter, like the song says some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
@Cocreator (whose new blog the rest of you should check out ASAP)
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, my only problem with women is my own tastes. I hate gold-diggers, which renders 99% of the female population ineligible to date me. I also prefer a girl who won't spend the night with me the first night I meet her, but I can look past that one if absolutely necessary.
The only time I really ever lie is to women when they start asking questions about my finances. I refuse to permit them to believe that I either am or might be worth a lot of money. Most lose interest at that point. If I ever meet one that doesn't, she'll be one very happy lady when she learns that I'm not struggling as badly as she had thought.
There are an awful lot of times when I feel like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America.