ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis): Letter From a Man with ALS

A Random Letter From a Victim of ALS

By: Fat Lester

The following are the contents of an email that a friend and colleague passed along to me. He is raising money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) to help find a cure for ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis).

Out of nowhere (he does not know this man - hence the anonymity - nor does he know how the man obtained his top-secret email address. That said, he found the letter quite the motivational tool to summon his best efforts in attempting to solicit donations from family, friends and social media contacts, and as one of those whom he asked to help spread his message, I was given his permission to publish the contents of the letter he received from an actual ALS victim provided I keep the gentleman's identity private and include no information that could lead to his identity being tied to the substance of the message itself.

Without further adieu, here is the letter minus the greetings and signatures:

Dear Peter,

On January 25, 2012 I was diagnosed with ALS. From that evening on-my life has changed drastically. I have always been a very active person but due to the progression of the disease, my activities are limited. I left work shortly after finding out I have ALS to spend more time with my family and to acquire much needed rest. My symptoms were, and still are, muscle aches/twitches, headaches, stiff neck, noticeable muscle loss in my chest/back, cramps in my legs/feet and general fatigue.

My upper body is my weakest and biggest problem at this time. It is now getting difficult or impossible to do some of my everyday activities because I can barely raise my arms. Shaving, bathing, dressing, getting in and out of the bed are all a challenge and require assistance.

The people at MDA of Greater New Orleans have been a Godsend. They are so helpful and are always willing to help you with any issue you face. The staff at the MDA clinic that I go to every 3 months is also wonderful – they are friendly, knowledgeable professionals that will do anything to help.

I have a very supportive family and close friends that are always there for me no matter what my needs are. My wife and I have met some great friends, other pALS (People Living with ALS) and their wives. We get together often for dinner and other activities and find that these are the most wonderful relationships. We are all dealing with the same struggles, even though we are at different stages with ALS, but understand what each other is going through. This group bond that we have as made a huge difference in our lives.

If it weren’t for organizations like MDA I would not have had the opportunity to meet these pALS and receive the help we need. I know there are more hard situations in the future, but with all the support I have, I will get through it all.

Thank you for supporting the Covington Lock-Up, MDA and my family.

Since we're keeping the author of the message anonymous, there will be no signature or goodbye message included here. That said, if that does not touch upon a soft spot in your heart, one must wonder if you even have one.

That disease (ALS) is among the most debilitating and torturous illnesses in the history of mankind, and my heart goes out to everyone and anyone who has ever suffered from it, God rest their souls.

Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS)

The friend posted a blog about ALS, why he is motivated to help find a cure and why he feels that you and anyone else reading his blog should donate to the MDA Lock-Up event Thursday, May 23 in Covington, Louisiana. The friend will be "arrested" as a "repeat offender" and will need to post "bail" (your donations) in order to be granted release from the makeshift holding cell at the restaurant at which the event is being held.I will ask all readers of this blog though to please consider donating anything you can --- even if its just a single dollar --- to his "bail bond" as finding a cure for ALS is about as good a cause as one could conceive of to financially support.
If you can afford to help out, please do so, and know that his company, EGAN Medical Equipment, will be matching each and every dollar donated up to $1,000.

Mississippi Gulf Coast: Great Beaches, Better Prices

Mississippi Gulf Coast: Great Beaches, Better Prices

As those with whom I am closest are already aware, in early 2012 I made a fairly significant move from Covington, Louisiana to Long Beach, Mississippi. The move was motivated by a desire to reside literally ON the beach, and have the luxury of walking outside and fishing, sunbathing, etc.

For the first six months or so following the move, I was commuting to-and-from Covington from Long Beach, a round-trip that comes out to approximately three hours per day.

Needless to say, it wasn't long before I'd grown weary of the excessive drive time, not to mention all of the lost productivity that comes with it. I decided within weeks of the time I began residing along the coast that I would eventually be taking my talents and my business interests to Long Beach. A little over half a year later, that process is well underway, a commercially-zoned piece of property secured in downtown Long Beach to go with the beachfront condominium in which I've been residing was the missing piece. I am presently in the process of moving all of the inventory and equipment from Covington to my new "home town".

Long Beach is everything I had hoped it would be and then some. While the fishing isn't always great, it's not altogether bad either. There are days when the fish are biting and days when they're not.

Likewise, there are days when the beaches are full of local talent (and/or tourists), and days when the only females on the beach are their with their husbands and/or children.

The change has done me some good. The increased sun exposure has led to significant weight loss on my behalf, which is likely the result of increased testosterone levels, a little-known side-effect of men soaking up the sun's natural rays on a regular and consistent basis.

About a month ago, a beautiful girl came into my life from literally out-of-nowhere, and as much as I tried to fight it I fell in love with her immediately. She couldn't help but comment repeatedly during our first couple of outings together that the physical attraction she felt for me was unlike anything she's ever experienced. While I may otherwise overlook such remarks as pure flattery, I've seen myself in the mirror lately and quite frankly I can see where she's coming from.

The sun exposure coupled with stress and a lot of exercise has me in the best shape I've been in since high school, and the combination of factors has me as happy as I've ever been in my 30 years on earth. I just thank God for the past six weeks (and in a more general sense the past 7 months), and hope and pray that the string of recent blessings continues.

Oh, one other thing worthy of mention is the fact that Long Beach is effectively a ghost town where the pre-Katrina homeowners cannot give away their property, so anyone looking to snatch up a nice house, apartment or condo on or near the beach may want to take a close look at Long Beach. I did, and as of today it ranks among the very best decisions I've ever made.

Fat Lester: The Novel

I received a spam email from Ebay the other day announcing some contest in which a participant (presumably the winner) could have a character in an upcoming novel named after him or her.

I deleted the email, as it did not interest me in the least. However, it did get me thinking. It's about time someone wrote an entire book about me. Yes, you read that correctly.

It is my humble opinion that an entire book should be written about me. In fact, I would go so far as to say that if opportunistic author were to publish an account of my unusually interesting life, it would constitute a grave travesty and a great disservice to the world.

Imagine if you were to combine Ferris Buhler's Day Off with Forrest Gump, substituting a remarkably good looking guy with a freakishly high IQ in place of Tom Hanks, that would in effect be the story of my (now close to 30 years of) life.

A country boy, son of an Irish immigrant who came to America having taken a vow of poverty as a Catholic priest, who got away with literally everything imaginable while in high school and college, only to rub shoulders with the likes of world leaders, professional athletes, embattled politicians and a list of other famous people way too long to list here - achieving great success and miserable failure all in a span of a couple of years.

Well, that's what would be written on the back of the book cover anyway.

From a financial standpoint, I'm quite poor, and my family came from literally nothing. I live in a remote, rural area that almost no one in the public eye (save for John Goodman, who has a house about 20 miles away) has even heard of - much less had any reason to visit. Also, there's not much about me that really stands out or makes me any more important than any other average Joe (hence the Forrest Gump comparison).

Despite my handsome appearance, women don't seem to be particularly fond of me (I guess I come across as weird --- working on a computer for 14 hours a day will do that to you). Despite the fact that I work 80 hours a week, I'm still pennyless. That said, I have had a couple of near-misses, any one of which would have made me a multi-millionaire had God, nature, the Devil and/or bad luck not intervened.

For example, I was due to sign a contract with the Planet Beach corporation, a worldwide tanning salon franchise corporation, that would have guaranteed me almost two million dollars for about six months worth of work, on August 29, 2005. That wouldn't have been a big deal had both myself and Planet Beach been based out of New Orleans, LA. August 29, 2005 was the day the levees broke, flooding the warehouse that contained all of the $4 million of merchandise the company was going to allow me to sell at a 50-50 split. To add insult to injury, the lady with whom I had negotiated the contract did not return to work after the storm.

Less than a year later, I had built an online empire selling medical equipment via an Ebay Store, had achieved the #1 overall ranking in all of the major search engines for my primary and dozens of secondary keyword targets, and was poised to seize control of the online retail market for the medical equipment industry, only to watch the business fall apart after selling WAY more than the company for whom I was employed was able to handle, both infrastructurally speaking as well as from a personnel standpoint. Once again, I had to postpone my target age for retirement from 25 to 30 - a number that in less than two months I will again have to adjust, this time probably to 35. If I'm not a multimillionaire by then, there's a good chance I'll just give up and try to reinvent myself as a 21st century John Galt.

That is why when looking back on it, I find it so remarkable that I've literally met hundreds of people, any one of whom most folks would consider themselves lucky to shake hands with. I don't particularly relish these opportunities as would most, and I certainly do not go out of my way in the slightest in order to facilitate these meetings. Yet, nonetheless they happen, and with an inexplicable degree of frequency.

In any case, if anyone reading this happens to know any author(s) who'd like to make a novel out of a true story of a normal dude who has lived more in 30 years than most people would in several lifetimes, please put them in touch with me.

My story is just too good not to be told and preserved for all to see long after my time here has ended.

Northshore Gas Station Hit with Lawsuit

A woman who slipped and fell in the parking lot of a Northshore convenience store has filed suit, alleging that the store was negligent is failing to clean up "oil or other slippery substance" that was present in the parking lot of a Kangaroo Express in St. Tammany Parish.

Julia L. Moore, also of St. Tammany Parish, claims she broke her wrist while attempting to break her fall after she slipped and fell in the parking lot after apparently walking over the allegedly slippery substance. Naturally, she is seeking damages to compensate her for her pain and suffering resulting from her injury, as well as for medical expenses. Ms. Moore claims her injury required surgery, and it's safe to assume she's either sporting a wrist brace or a heavy-duty wrist splint these days.

According to Michelle Keahey of LouisianaRecord.com, the plaintiff is accusing the Kangaroo Express (officially known as The Pantry Inc.) of negligence for "failing to maintain safe premises, failing to remove oil or other slippery substance from the parking lot area of the gas station and convenience store, failing to clean up or remove a spill after being provided constructive or actual knowledge of the spill."

The defendant had the case relocated to Federal District Court in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Fun Zappers Hand-Held Bug Zappers Make Killing Insects Fun

I moved into a new apartment a little over a month ago. The apartment is a dream-come-true, however that is not to say it is not without its own share of problematic issues.

Before I get to the drawbacks of living here, I'd like to state a few of the positives in order to put everything into perspective. First, the building is basically a one-room apartment that was converted from a boat house into a livable space. Two rooms if you count the bathroom. It literally overlooks a tributary of the Tchefuncte River near Covington, Louisiana.

The balcony (and the majority of the apartment) was literally built out over the water. What used to be a boat house was built on top of a garage with slightly over half of the building hovering over a boat slip (a human-dug extension of the river/canal on private property that exists for the purpose of parking a resident boat). The part that is out over the water is supported by reinforced wooden pilings.

The problem is that with all of this wood (specifically the shed, the bottom-side of the floor of the apartment overlooking the boat slip, and the inside of the apartment above the ceiling), wasps and hornets have found the place to be a haven of sorts, with an ideal environment for them to build their nests. With all of the wood that is sheltered from the weather but technically not inside the living area of the apartment, the building is capable of supporting several dozen wasp and hornet nests simultaneously.

With the river below (and in particular its banks), the wasps have an ample food supply to support as many colonies as they decide to found.

Needless to say, I wasn't just going to sit back and allow these pesky insects to dominate my domicile. No, regardless of where I choose to reside, I am the master of my domain, and I refuse to allow a pack of stinging flies to take that away from me. Before they had even had a chance to sting me, I had already committed to fighting back and attempting to reclaim what was now my property.

While I was committed to winning this war by any means necessary, if I could achieve my objectives without the use of toxic chemicals and poisons such as wasp and hornet killer, which inevitably are inhaled by the person spraying them more often than I was comfortable with.

A traditional bug zapper wouldn't work, because these were some smart insects I was dealing with, and I just couldn't envision wasps and hornets flying into a hanging bug zapper in such numbers that they were eventually eradicated from the property. I needed a more personalized approach.

Luckily for me (not so much so for the wasps), I came upon a device known as a Fun Zapper. Fun Zappers are battery-powered, electronic tennis racquet bug zappers that can be swung like a tennis racquet in the pursuit of killing bugs. Within moments of laying eyes upon the device, I knew the Fun Zapper was the solution to my wasp problem.

One lazy Saturday I made it a point to kill as many of the flying, stinging insects as I possible could. Between myself and a friend who was there assisting, we killed at least 44 hornets and wasps, and largely rid the place of the pesky flies. Now, my apartment is peaceful again.

I can finally step outside on my balcony without being greeted by angry wasps who get up in my face and demand to know who I am and what my business is inside of their territory. My apartment is now my territory, and I owe it all to this convenient and fun electric tennis racquet bug zapper.

Tchefuncte River Website Now Live

It is my pleasure to be able to announce today that TchefuncteRiver.com, a website about the Tchefuncte River, is now live.  The site was build in just a few days, but from the moment it debuted was already the best and most in-depth resource about the Tchefuncte.

The Tchefuncte River is a small but wide river in southeast Louisiana that runs through the border between Washington and Tangipahoa Parishes, continuing on through St. Tammany Parish all the way to the Lakefront in Madisonville, LA.  The river is at its widest in Covington and Madisonville, where boating and fishing on the Tchefuncte are extremely popular means of recreation.

I have been enjoying this beautiful and scenic river for the past fifteen years.  I fist started going out on the Tchefuncte with a group of friends from St. Paul's School in Covington, Louisiana.  One of my friends' fathers owned a boat, and a group of us would wakeboard, kneeboard and ski behind the boat during the summer months and on weekends during the school year.

I now reside in a one-room apartment on the Tchefuncte.  One day while searching for information regarding fishing in the river, I observed a stark and utter lack of information on the web regarding this pristine resource. I decided to pick up the slack myself, and worked tirelessly for several hours until the website had been completed.

TchefuncteRiver.com is now the official website of the Tchefuncte River, and your first and only source for news, information about the Tchefuncte, articles and photographs involving the river and any events set to take place therein.

Louisiana DWI Law Double-Standard

In the State of Louisiana, a driver has the legal right to refuse a breathalyzer test should he or she get pulled over by an officer of the law, and should that law enforcement officer attempt to issue the test.  HOWEVER, upon the enactment of HB-445 into law, the penalty for refusing such a test (which is technically legal to do) is the loss of driving privileges for a year for a first-time offense, and two years for any subsequent incidents.

As I found out recently, the standard of openness and transparency so embraced by the state so long as it involves a driver refusing to take the test, is not uniformly applied to situations in which the administration of a breathalyzer test would work to the driver's benefit.

While returning home from a night out with friends in New Orleans, I was pulled over by a St. Tammany Parish Sheriff's deputy near Claiborne Hill in Covington.  I was speeding, and I was caught.  I had not been drinking that evening, a fact the officer called into question.

The officer asked where I was coming from, where I was going, and what I had been doing.  I answered him as straightforward and honestly as I could.  I told him where I had been, what I'd been doing and where I was heading.  Unfortunately for me, while true, my story didn't seem believable.  While it was evident that I was not intoxicated (I hadn't even been drinking --- not even a little), the officer nonetheless put me through an extensive field sobriety test, which I passed with flying colors.

Clearly, something about this situation wasn't registering.  How could it be that a single, 29-year old-man could be driving home alone at 1:00 in the morning from a night out in New Orleans, LA, and NOT be drunk?  This at least was how the deputy decided to view the situation.

Eventually, he decided to let me go home on the condition I leave my car in the Walgreens parking lot at Claiborne Hill.  I had to call a taxi, as both of my brothers and all of my friends within an hour's drive whom I was able to reach by phone were in fact intoxicated, and none of them was anywhere close to being in better shape to drive the car home by myself.

Sure, the cop could have been an even bigger dick.  He could have arrested me anyway, brought me to jail and booked me, only to release me shortly thereafter when results from breath and/or blood tests confirmed that I was in fact sober and free of any and all mood-altering chemicals.

The real irony in Louisiana's zero-tolerance DWI policies mandating twelve months of driver's license suspension for refusing to take a breathalyzer test is that police are under no such obligation to administer the test when doing so would confirm a driver's sobriety.

Throughout the course of the ordeal, I requested not less than three times that the officer administer a breathalyzer test.  All three times, he refused.  The third time I asked, he said that he was "doing me a favor" and that he "(did not) want to hear another word about it."  I interpreted this as his way of telling me that despite the fact that I was (and still am) 100% sober, he could arrest me anyway, and that if I wished to avoid such fate I should stop asking for a means of proving to him that I had not been drinking.

It seems to me that if Louisiana is going to have a law mandating the loss of driving privileges for an entire year for anyone who refuses a breathalyzer test, it would only be fair to grant the citizens the right to take a breathalyzer exam upon the citizen's request if the officer administering the traffic stop suspects the driver of driving while intoxicated.

Field sobriety tests are subjective, often convoluted and frequently require gymnastics that simply cannot be performed while wearing certain types of shoes.  Some are extremely difficult to perform regardless of whether or not a person is sober.  A citizens' right to a breathalyzer exam solves this problem by requiring the officer to administer a test which would quantifiably confirm or remove all suspicions as to a driver's prospective sobriety should the driver request the exam.  If citizens cannot refuse the test without consequences, than law-abiding drivers who have not been drinking should have the right to a test if an officer suspects he or she has been drinking.

What is good for the goose is good for the St. Tammany Parish Sheriff's Office.  While I fully support tough laws aimed at getting drunk drivers off the road, such laws must be a two-way street.  If the test can be required of the driver when it could potentially lead to self-incrimination, it should be required of the officer in circumstances when the driver is indeed sober and willing and able to prove it.