Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Capybara, Would You Like to Explain This?

Is Capybara the Beast from the book of Revelation? His recent activity over at the Mixxingbowl seems to suggest so.

I was minding my own business, reading the news and occasionally commenting when I came across something disturbing while perusing through some of Capybara's submissions. Rather than describe to you what I saw, I included the screenshot below, in which you can see exactly what I saw when I happened upon a page I was never supposed to see.

FALSE ALARM:  Capybara was briefly considered a potential Antichrist suspect as a result of an apparent misunderstanding.
Needless to say, I was extremely alarmed upon seeing that, especially as Capybara has never shown any indication whatsoever for a capacity for evil, much less the potential for being the sinister villain from the final book of the Bible. I decided to double-check so as to be absolutely certain it was true before publicly levying the accusation.

I pulled up the official Antichrist Identification Device from and ran the name. In a split-second, the suspense was over:
Capybara IS NOT the Antichrist.

We looked through 55 different calculations for the numerical value of "Capybara", but NONE of them were equal to the number of the beast. Congratulations!
I wasn't totally shocked by the result, but there was one detail over which I was puzzled. If Capybara isn't the Antichrist, why did his activity page at the Bowl boldly display the number of the beast? The only logical reason would be if the Mixxingbowl itself were some way tied to Prince of Darkness.

On a hunch, I decided to try running through a couple of names of people I knew are affiliated with the site. The results were predictable.
Gregory Davies IS the Antichrist!

Here's proof:

1. Write "Gregory Davies" as separate words.
2. Transliterate the result into Greek: γρεγωρι δαβηης. Numerical values for Greek letters are found here.
3. Alternately subtract and add the numerical values of the letters in each word, then take the absolute value of the result. Add together the numerical values of each word. This gives the following:
γ ρ ε γ ω ρ ι δ α β η η ς
( 3 - 100 + 5 - 3 + 800 - 100 + 10) + ( 4 - 1 + 2 - 8 + 8 - 6)
4. The result is 616! Did you know that in the earliest manuscripts of the Bible 616 is the number of the beast? It's true! Plus, wouldn't it make perfect sense for the Enemy to disguise his true face all these years by getting people to believe in the wrong Bible?

Don't be deceived! Now you have absolute PROOF that Gregory Davies is the Antichrist!

Spread the word! Click here to go to a linkable page, or copy and paste the following text into your webpage or blog to let everyone know that Gregory Davies is the Antichrist.
Mathematical proof that Gregory Davies is the Antichrist!
For anyone scratching their head, the aforementioned also goes by the name of cGt2099. It should come as no surprise Davies has emerged as a candidate/suspect to become the most evil person in all of religion. Back in 2009, he admitted/proclaimed as much when early rumors were beginning to surface.

So is cGt2099 the Antichrist? If only it were so simple.

At least two other names that have been widely rumored to be the Antichrist have been confirmed as such.  It is unclear at this point if Davies is in cahoots with Kevin Rose and Barack Hussein Obama as a sinister apocalyptic trifecta, or if the three must contend for the singular honor.

God did not respond to an email seeking comment about the Antichrist situation.

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